Showing posts with label kidneys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kidneys. Show all posts
Friday, September 7, 2012
Immediate Job Opening
Anthony Inc. is pleased to announce the immediate opening in our kidney dept. Upon my last assessment of kidney function, my current staff were only doing 5% of their job duties, therefore, they have been terminated effective immediately. I will be looking to fill that position ASAP. Hours will be 24/7/365. No PTO and no Holidays. Job duties include handling and disposing of all liquid waste products. Please send all inquiries and resumes to Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center Transplant Team.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Poked, Prodded, and Passed for Transplant
Section 1.
To start this post off, I need to first give a short explanation of why this testing is being done. If you are not interested in the medical part of this post, please proceed to section 2. Once I receive a kidney, I will be immuno suppressed, meaning I will take medicine to decrease my immune response so I will not reject the kidney. This means that any illness that I may have now and not know about will go unchecked, so if I had cancer and didn't know it, it would explode unchecked. Therefore, I have to undergo testing for every possible problem. This was my August 7th.
Section 2.
The Testing.....
Trans-thoracic Echo-cardiogram........proof that I do, in fact, have not just a heart, but a good heart. For all my patients that say that I don't, "I told you so!!"
Abdominal Ultrasound......proved that I am a gutsy guy.
Chest X-ray.....Lungs of a champion, bones of a weak old man. (thanks kidney failure and hyperparathyroidism).
18 vials of blood for blood work......quickest way to lose a few pounds, though not the easiest.
Meeting with social worker for psychological work-up........(pause for all my friends to laugh and make jokes about my psychological idiosyncracies)......was told "you would be a great candidate for transplant, but I gather you will try to push yourself too hard and you will need to learn to rest and heal"......hahahaha.......then I asked how long I would have to be off the bike and when could I go back to work. In one ear and out the other.
Meeting with the MD.......passed. Md feels I would be an easy transplant. Tells me I should consider trying out for transplant Olympics afterwards. ( http://www.transplantgamesofamerica.org/ ). If you are not a donor, you can sign up on this website to become a donor upon death in your state. You could save multiple lives, please give this some serious thought, and check out my other post labeled Dear organ donor if you are.
Md told RN to fast track my file to get me into the transplant meeting on Friday, so as of August 10, I should officially be on the transplant list.
Section 3.
For anyone who has been watching the Olympics on TV, I could be the next Usain Bolt or Bradley Wiggins (for the transplant Olympics that is). So get your tickets now. This will probably be my post-transplant goal and you could know an Olympian.
To start this post off, I need to first give a short explanation of why this testing is being done. If you are not interested in the medical part of this post, please proceed to section 2. Once I receive a kidney, I will be immuno suppressed, meaning I will take medicine to decrease my immune response so I will not reject the kidney. This means that any illness that I may have now and not know about will go unchecked, so if I had cancer and didn't know it, it would explode unchecked. Therefore, I have to undergo testing for every possible problem. This was my August 7th.
Section 2.
The Testing.....
Trans-thoracic Echo-cardiogram........proof that I do, in fact, have not just a heart, but a good heart. For all my patients that say that I don't, "I told you so!!"
Abdominal Ultrasound......proved that I am a gutsy guy.
Chest X-ray.....Lungs of a champion, bones of a weak old man. (thanks kidney failure and hyperparathyroidism).
18 vials of blood for blood work......quickest way to lose a few pounds, though not the easiest.
Meeting with social worker for psychological work-up........(pause for all my friends to laugh and make jokes about my psychological idiosyncracies)......was told "you would be a great candidate for transplant, but I gather you will try to push yourself too hard and you will need to learn to rest and heal"......hahahaha.......then I asked how long I would have to be off the bike and when could I go back to work. In one ear and out the other.
Meeting with the MD.......passed. Md feels I would be an easy transplant. Tells me I should consider trying out for transplant Olympics afterwards. ( http://www.transplantgamesofamerica.org/ ). If you are not a donor, you can sign up on this website to become a donor upon death in your state. You could save multiple lives, please give this some serious thought, and check out my other post labeled Dear organ donor if you are.
Md told RN to fast track my file to get me into the transplant meeting on Friday, so as of August 10, I should officially be on the transplant list.
Section 3.
For anyone who has been watching the Olympics on TV, I could be the next Usain Bolt or Bradley Wiggins (for the transplant Olympics that is). So get your tickets now. This will probably be my post-transplant goal and you could know an Olympian.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
I'm sorry....my kidneys are what???
So, the story. I will make this one quick. Jan 18- I am back at work from a wonderful Disney vacation over New Years, but having some occasional random nausea. I get that sometimes from dealing with insurance companies, but this was different. I was also more tired than the usual, meaning I was almost too tired to walk to the break room for chocolate. So, I called my friendly physician and asked if I might have mono, I've heard you can get that from kissing strange people (sorry Mickey Mouse). He said to come in at lunch and let him get a blood sample to see. Jan 19- my friendly physician calls to say I am being admitted to the hospital, please leave work immediately. Now I would usually have no problems leaving work immediately, but going to the hospital is not the way I want to do that. Fast forward a few hours, and I'm in a room being told by the leading nephrologist that I am in kidney failure and will need a transplant. Jan 20- I have a central line placed into my heart and have my first hemodialysis. Jan 21- second hemodialysis and demand DC from hospital to go home.
By the way, Hemodialysis = have the flu and run 10 miles and then find out that you forgot a huge project due tomorrow at work....that would be close to the physical and mental feeling of that. Hemodialysis is my life for 3 weeks until I can get a cath placed into my abdomen to allow me to run fluid in and out of my abdominal cavity and perform dialysis by using osmosis. This is similar to doing a radiator flush and it gives me 3 days a week of my life back. I began on a machine that did this for me at night while I sleep. Well, while normal people sleep. This is apparently the way most kidney failure patients like to do this, however, this requires an air compressor in a machine to kick on and drain/fill fluids 5 times through the night. For a light sleeper such as myself, this was not a fun situation either. So, I change to continuous exchanges. This means I drain and refill 4 times a day. Positives- I can exchange when convenient for me and I sleep through the night. Negatives- I carry 2 liters of fluid in my abdominal cavity at all times, meaning my working as a body double for Matthew and Channing in Magic Mike has come to an end.
So, that is where my current situation lies. I go in a couple days (Aug 7th, the day after my birthday) for a day of testing (much like being probed by Alien life forms and having your blood drained). They will image every part of my body and take 18 vials of blood, and no, that is not a typo. If all looks good, they will put me on the official list to await someone else's tragedy to afford me a kidney and they can start to test the hero's who have offered to be a living donor and save my life.
I will try to keep some quick updates as to where I am at on this journey, and I welcome any comments and questions that anyone might have. However, I want this blog to be a positive experience for everyone, so if you want to argue the finer points of religion, theology, or apologetics, you can private message me.
By the way, Hemodialysis = have the flu and run 10 miles and then find out that you forgot a huge project due tomorrow at work....that would be close to the physical and mental feeling of that. Hemodialysis is my life for 3 weeks until I can get a cath placed into my abdomen to allow me to run fluid in and out of my abdominal cavity and perform dialysis by using osmosis. This is similar to doing a radiator flush and it gives me 3 days a week of my life back. I began on a machine that did this for me at night while I sleep. Well, while normal people sleep. This is apparently the way most kidney failure patients like to do this, however, this requires an air compressor in a machine to kick on and drain/fill fluids 5 times through the night. For a light sleeper such as myself, this was not a fun situation either. So, I change to continuous exchanges. This means I drain and refill 4 times a day. Positives- I can exchange when convenient for me and I sleep through the night. Negatives- I carry 2 liters of fluid in my abdominal cavity at all times, meaning my working as a body double for Matthew and Channing in Magic Mike has come to an end.
So, that is where my current situation lies. I go in a couple days (Aug 7th, the day after my birthday) for a day of testing (much like being probed by Alien life forms and having your blood drained). They will image every part of my body and take 18 vials of blood, and no, that is not a typo. If all looks good, they will put me on the official list to await someone else's tragedy to afford me a kidney and they can start to test the hero's who have offered to be a living donor and save my life.
I will try to keep some quick updates as to where I am at on this journey, and I welcome any comments and questions that anyone might have. However, I want this blog to be a positive experience for everyone, so if you want to argue the finer points of religion, theology, or apologetics, you can private message me.
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